We are enjoying a fresh Western Conference Championship for the Colorado Avalanche. I should say that my wife and I are enjoying it. My daughter, on the other hand, recently confessed (to my wife well out of my earshot) that she didn’t like hockey.

This secretive confession was not surprising. She’s seven and into Disney, Jo Jo Siwa, and stuffed animals. My wife and I had a laugh over it.

My daughter also likes sports. I don’t try to push her into being a fan of the local sports teams. She’ll manage to pay a little attention through a few plays in a football game before turning her attention to playing with her toys. Sometimes, she’ll get interested in the odd game we leave on the television.

Hockey is tough, though. And I get it. Hockey involves nearly nonstop skating for twenty-minute periods. It makes me anxious. There’s no time to take my eyes off the TV and give my daughter the attention she wants and deserves. And in the playoffs, the team plays a game about every other night. With the Avalanche making a deep run this year, a stretch of late spring/early summer has been shot. My daughter hasn’t indulged in a Kid’s Baking Championship binge in a long time.

Complicating the issue, in the playoffs, I can’t record and watch the games later – the neighborhood makes too much of a racket at the end of games for me to tune out the result. When the Avs clinched the Western Conference Finals, fireworks boomed over south Denver.

So how do I square the intention of showing up for my clearly unhappy, neglected child and recognizing my desire to participate as a sports fan during one of these rare, FOMO years?

We’ve tried turning the games into parties with a cheese plate and party wings and much hullabaloo. That almost worked, but soon, my daughter was bored again, acting out for attention.

I’ve tried to reframe the situation. I’ve come up with the following totally incorrect reframing tips for parenting during the playoffs that have helped me be okay with being a terrible parent:

Bad Tips for Parenting in the Playoffs

1. Recognize that none of us is perfect, and the goal isn’t perfection.
2. Remember that when the plane goes down, they ask adults to put their masks on first before putting the masks on the kids. The point is, I believe, to put your hockey mask on first, then take care of your kid, if I’m interpreting that right.
3. Remind yourself that your child will have access to mental health resources when he or she grows up, which will help them process the neglect and attachment wounds suffered during deep playoff runs.
4. Feelings of guilt at least mean that you know what the right thing to do is, even if you are not quite ready to turn off overtime and play dolls with your daughter.

I’ve approached this subject lightheartedly (please don’t take my advice). I also understand that sometimes these conflicts can become very real. Domestic abuse cases rise after professional sports teams lose, and that association increases in the playoffs. So, I believe the home environment during games is worth considering for any parents who watch sports, especially if the passion is high or the kids aren’t enjoying it. I think (hope) it is okay to enjoy the playoffs. At the same time, I don’t want to lose sight that the playoffs are just games, and there are more important things going on all the time around us. Maybe missing that overtime game-winner to clinch the series isn’t going to ruin my night, while taking the time to read an extra bedtime book to my daughter may make her week.