Recognizing distorted or exaggerated thoughts is a paramount skill when tolerating anxiety. However, identifying and labeling when we are compulsively ruminating on a problem doesn’t always mean that our rumination will immediately disappear. The storm of thoughts may still cloud our minds for some time, and we need to simply learn to tolerate and endure until our anxiety lifts.
Many effective breathing and mindfulness techniques can help calm us down. When those techniques don’t cut it, getting a little creative may provide the additional support to endure. Here are a couple of strategies to help us persist when we’re stuck out in the middle of swirling, ruminating fears.
Connect, if only a little
We know from trauma and addiction therapies that we cannot heal by ourselves. We, as humans, need connection. Often, all we need to interrupt a raging pattern of distorted thinking is to connect with others. It helps us become less centered on ourselves. But connecting with close friends or allies isn’t always possible. The good news is that a sense of connection doesn’t have to be that deep to work. We don’t have to unload all of our fears and secrets for a sense of connectedness to bring relief. Sometimes, simply escaping to a coffee shop, a bookstore, a popular walking trail, or a bustling street can allow us to enjoy the benefits of co-regulation. As we see others doing okay, we can more easily believe that we’re okay too.
Seek out the senses
We know that if we ground ourselves in the present moment, we generally can reduce and better tolerate anxiety. Utilizing our senses is one way to do so. Mindfulness techniques may instruct us to identify what we currently see, hear, smell, feel, and taste around us. When that level of grounding doesn’t seem to help, we can take this technique a few steps further. Give yourself a specific number of sensory experiences to count – ten might be a good starting point – then go on a hunt for those ten experiences. For your sense of smell, find ten things to smell in the room, or go further and raid the refrigerator or buy some essential oils. For touch, take a trip to the toy store (fidget toys have worked well for me).
Getting through anxious times and tolerating anxiety is difficult and often painful. As we practice self-care and seek help when we need it, we know the anxiety will lessen its grip eventually. We will return to a happier state of being. But it’s not realistic to set a goal of completely eliminating anxiety. When the thought storms do arrive, having a plan to take them can be empowering. And, don’t let anxiety itself prevent you from getting help with your anxiety if needed.
